Have you ever planned for something just to have the plans fall through? That is exactly what happened to Noel and I. We planned to spend our 30th wedding anniversary in Aruba, but like all of you, all our plans have been put to halt. I have to admit I was bummed for a couple of days, but soon enough got over it. As soon as we are able to travel, Aruba will still be there. Finding the silver lining during troubled times is so important; I cannot stress it enough because it is what gets you through it. Difficult times lead to better days. The silver lining for us in not being able to fly to Aruba was being able to take from our vacation budget and invest in our family, friends, and community. We did this by mailing a box of our caramels to our family, friends and to front line heroes at Lowell General Hospital. We shifted our focus from the negative to a very beautiful positive. This would explain why there was no blog post in April, all my extra time was spent on making caramels that I completely forgot to blog J. I still a have a few boxes to mail out so if you have not received one, it will be in the mail next week.

I want to share a few ways you too can shift your focus from the negative to positive.

Dismiss negative thoughts as quickly as they appear. If you don’t dismiss these thoughts and let it fester, they will weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward. One of the things that helps me when I allow a negative thought to pop in my mind is to remind myself that if I continue down that path it will cost me more than I want to pay. What I mean by “cost” is that I will end up paying the price of not connecting, the price of not engaging with life with the people around me, and the price of missing out. If you are like me, when negative thoughts control my mind, I become paralyzed to those around me and I keep feeding the negativity. For example, if I am upset because dishes have not been done then before you know it, dishes become counters, counters become floors, floors become laundry and so on. I have taught myself that when I see dishes in the sink, I think instead of how blessed I am to have dishes in the sink because it means my family is home. Sound silly I know but it works for me. I found that over time the more intentional I was about this the quicker my mind began to focus on good rather than bad.

Carve time out in your day to do something that brings you joy. We all have things that bring us joy, for some it might be reading a book, exercising or crafts. Whatever it may be, carving time out of your day to do something that brings you joy is important. Depriving ourselves from such things can cause contention to surface and negativity to set in. For me, working a full time job, being a mom, a wife and an inspiring entrepreneur, my time is very precious to me. Carving time in my day to enjoy a simple cup of coffee with Noel is something I look forward to every evening. If your schedule does not allow for you to engage in something daily try scheduling something at least twice a week, it will give you something enjoyable to look forward to.

Surround yourself with positive people. Positive people equal positive attitudes, positive advice, and positive outlooks. I know that being quarantined makes it difficult to surround yourself with people but applications like Teams, Zoom and FB Messenger allow you to video chat with friends and family. Take advantage of them to stay connected to the positive people in your life, their words will affect your positive thinking. In return do the same for them, choose to increase the positivity in their lives too. Toby Mac said it best in his song Speak Life “Raise your head a little higher; use your words to inspire”.

Listen to music. Music can immediately shift your mood into a positive state, especially if it has a great beat and tempo. Studies show music has a profound impact on the brain; it reduces depression and anxiety, as well as to improve mood, self-esteem, and quality of life. For me listening to contemporary Christian music reminds me of God’s love for me and helps me feel good knowing I am loved.

Make your bed. Honestly, just make your bed. When your day is done and your calling it a night there is nothing like feeling of slipping under the sheets of a bed that is nicely made. It will make any negative thought slip away into the abyss.

Lastly, when life gives you caramels - pass them out!